Eminem - Rap God (Don't Roll Your Eyes. Just Pay Attention, Christ.)

Post date: 21-Oct-2014 04:56:18

Keep an open mind, this will basically amount to the next logical step in Slim Shady's career, except he won't be present for the execution (although he's more than welcome to hop on board, I'd play some disgusting guitar for him anytime, day or night). Want anger? See Metal (n). Want anger out there in time-space? See Metal (n). Metal, metal, metal, all day long. As far as I can figure, the only way to make Eminem's catalog any more severe is to add a bunch of guitars and a split-second hammering, 76-piece drum kit to fill that fucker right on out. And a thick bass guitar, all floppin' around and rattling precariously placed teacups from their tabletop perches (or purchase), naturally. Then? Teach that man to scream properly, from the bowels and all (hell, even Michael Jackson screams better than Eminem, far better) and b-b-b-booya, combo-breaker, the rap/metal crossover song that actually delivers what the seemingly contradictory title suggests. Well, fuck it. Not I, said the cat? Then I'll do it myself, said the OCL (see: The Little Red Hen story, you uncultured heathens). I'm knee deep in a true metal cover of Eminem's current magnum opus, Rap God. The guitars and drums are coming along just fine, thank you. The song has practically zero backing music, so injecting whatever I want is a simple matter of making it exist in the same tempo. Boom, done.

Go on and search for metal covers of the song, and you'll hear some interesting ideas being toyed with, with none really coming to fruition. I plan to solve that little blank in the musical continuum within the next 30 days (the time I allotted myself to learn and deliver the lyrics. It's the first week, and I'm nearly there, so there). And if you doubt that the song isn't brutal enough to make a metal cover of, then you can kiss my scrawny white ass. Listen again, people. That song has metal written all over it. Here's a little breakdown from what I've observed pursuant to a real metal cover:

    1. The song repeats in sets of 6, not 4, effectively eschewing any notion of a "pop" mentality. Bam, so simple, yet so purposeful. This also places the song squarely in the realm of avante garde, for rap anyway (as I understand it! I'm no expert, shit).

    2. Nearly every line Eminem spits out is rhythmically different, again spitting in the face of traditional rap (which has grown so repetitive that it's literally pain inducing). What other genre tends to ignore pop-like repetition? Yeah, metal. Welcome to the inner bit of the venn diagram we've been officially painting (but poorly) since 1994 (since Korn, or we can go even back to 1989 with Faith No More's "The Real Thing," or hell, it probably starts before that. Anyway, FNM's song The Real Thing was dangerously close to being my next cover so cross your fingers, dot your i's, and thank your little stars that I didn't go that route, heh. Would've been painful for us all, 'cause I can't sing the Patton.).

    3. Nearly every line Eminem spits out contains 2-3 valid interpretations, while maintaining internal and end-line rhymes. This is called poetry, folks. And scan the lyrics, now he's dropping some serious vocabulary as well (again, considering it's rap). This is a mature, educated, poetic force that even the stuffiest of scholars can't legitimately ignore anymore (if they ever did. Hell, I listed Eminem as an influence when questioned by my English Department Head during a scholarly conference where I was present a 7-cycle poem. You know what? It flew, folks. Eminem is officially welcome in grad-school as of like, 2010.)

    4. References consist of the classic mix of silly/nerdy (old M&M) and some serious criticisms of all kinds of subjects (himself included). Go trace them, this is the work of a, albeit finally, mature artist. True, other rappers have exhibited such maturity long before Eminem ever rapped, and they are the true legacy of rap. Don't be fooled by all dat bullshit clogging your radio waves with industrial strength stupid.

Anyway, again, fuck it. I'm doing the cover justice, and I'm doing the cover period. Like when Pantera did that cover of Black Sabbath's "Planet Caravan," they included a formal "fuck you" to anyone who couldn't quite understand, I am including the same for anyone who gets overly confused by a metal cover of this illustrious song. That said? I'm beginning to feel like a Rap Demi-God, as I get these shit-kicking lyrics down. Thanks Eminem, keep on being pissed, and keep on rapping about the revelations that life unfolds to you.